Ashtanga Workshop-Week 3
Rain. Rain. Rain. The windows of the Yoga Space, charmingly, fogged up about 15 minutes into the physical practice today, as everyone worked through their warm ups – only three “bs” today, always welcome.
I’m slightly, just slightly, impatient. Looking back at my notes from the last workshop, I see I was wearing cranky pants at about the same point then, too.
I was sore. Distracted. Just finishing a miserable cold. As we held Warrior Two today for longer than I thought we should have (I kind of hate Warrior Two. I mean, not always. But today, definitely), I cartwheeled down before the instruction, only to draw comment from Michele. Michele doesn’t miss much. Let me be clear, I deserved it. I know better. One thing about the combination of Mysore practice, workshops, and visiting other studios – you learn while it’s your practice, it’s the teacher’s space.
This fabulous awareness, though, did not make me less impatient.
If you’re doing yoga regularly you probably have a certain amount of time, and discretionary income, and desire for self-improvement, which in combination means you’ve likely had personal success. It’s hard not be adept at practice when most of us are in many areas of our lives.
For me, I’m great at my job. I’m good at my long-term marriage (and on most days, my beloved would agree). I’m adept at creating and maintaining social connections over the long term (and on most days, my close friends would agree). I have an esoteric set of skills, like most 42 year olds. Bread baking and jam making? Yes. Dog caretaking? Definitely. Talking? Yep.
But I’m not proficient at ashtanga. Sure, some poses are easy, but for the most part, I’m a rank beginner. I try to understand the value of this. Ceding some control, even to someone we trust, isn’t an easy thing. Gaining patience, with ourselves and with others, might be even harder. But on non-impatient days, I get that this is exactly part of the practice. Honestly, I get it on impatient days, too. I just don’t incorporate it.
In conversation after class, I gather I’m not alone in feeling a little inept and a little clumsy and a little unsure about the whole daily-practice thing. You know what, stick it out. Try the morning practice and see how it goes. Keep showing up on Sundays. At this point in the last workshop – what the heck, at this point in this workshop – it just seemed too foreign, too hard, too tough for me to grasp. But it will become your practice, and you will see progress. It’s a matter of time, repetition, safety, and existing in the moment as it is.
Even if that moment involves ten breaths in Warrior Two.
